I know I have been missing for a while, a lot has been happening in my life. Car wrecks, boyfriends cheating, mistakes and people who have left me behind. A job that is eating the life out of me and a new hobby that is stealing my time. I have been working on art here and there but I do want to get warmed up again before I resume work on my contest winner pictures.

I feel so alone right now. I get off work and take out my phone but there is no one I can call. No one to tell I love you too. I was so head over heels, too much to abruptly have nothing... I had been making improvment, I was getting happier, I had hope and things I looked forward to. I wanted to get up every day. I just can't understand it. He sounded so sincere when he laughed at my silliness and would say, "I love you." He'd paused and whisper to himself again, "I love you." It was like he was afraid of it. He meant it. Didn't he? He joked, we laughed. He comforted me in my pain. Now when I alone in the night, doubled over in aongy and I reach for my phone I stall my hand...I'm alone. The world is dark again. My mind is wandering back to familiar places I have already walked. Lonely, lonely. I don't want to do it again. I can't do this again.

Why now? I need a friend, I need a hand that seems to forgotten me in their shadow. I am history. I am a name hardly spoken. You can't do this to me Fighter. Not now. You are my friend and I need you, let me be your friend again. Could you be mine once more? Show me you know I am here.